{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Sunday, January 20, 2008

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To ahky: We will always miss you.

Thank you for the wonderful times we had had, the silly jamming sessions at the bukit panjang church. I still remember how hard we tried to make good music, but how terrible it always sounded. You and Sem were perhaps the only ones who could play something though, Eleen and I were just trying to keep up. You won't have to tolerate the lousy playing now though......music in where u are now is just perfect.

Still remember the first mission trip we went together, to some Christian Church in Malaysia. We had to do a skit that time, and I was writing the skit. I had a role for a baddie, and you were the one that came to my mind when I had to find cast for the role. Not because you are a baddie, of coz not -- you have one of the biggest hearts and caring personailty around-- but becoz of your "ah-beng, hack-care" attitude. You were truly the most siao sa one.

We had such a great time during the mission trip.....buying food, roaming around the dusty streets in malaysia, doing street-E. You were paired up with Eleen and Sem, I remember, and how it was a fruitful one. And how u were always so funny, always singing some kinda odd song, saying ur "namo-namo", and how we will always scold u for saying it. Your jokes never fail to make me break out into uncontrollable laughter, and then u will say "eh relax relax...."

Oh, and how u always call me "Ah-Za". Goodness, I don't think anyone is going to call me that anymore. Oh man I'm gonna miss that. Pls call me that again when I see u -- I dun mind being called "Ah-Za" for the rest of eternity, haha.

Oh, and that time. It was in Poly year 1. It was one of the most miserable days. I left tuan qi earlier to wait for Angela at Clementi McDonalds. And I waited and waited. I had no batt on my phone to call them, but suddenly a whole bunch of you guys just showed up. You were the first to spot me, and comforted me and lent ur phone to me. Thank you so much for your concern. I should have said it to you earlier.

Then there was sheng huo ying. This camp is a legend in itself, enuff said. I'm sure we will all bring memories of it to eternity itself.

And playing the piano. You were the ONLY person who would ask me to play the piano again and again. And you never tire or complain about my playing. And you would sit beside me and watch me. You will try and play with me, and it never works out. (Oh gosh, my heart is gonna break just thinking about this. Who's gonna sit beside and watch me play the piano again?)

Hey, and you were a ladies man. Girls just love hanging around you. You were such a good good, sensitive friend to us. This must be God's gift. I've never seen you without the company of someone female. Hmmm....

Yea, and speaking of, perhaps the reason why u were such a ladies man was because you really know how to make us happy. I could still remember that time, dunnoe for wad, we were all at orchard road. We were just walking outside meritus mandarin when u started twirling me around. Something that u picked up from your Salsa. I was thrilled. It made me want to dance again. And this piece of memory was what that made me accept Rachel's invitation for the NYE Hope Brisbane celebration dance. In fact, I was just thinking of asking you to bring me to ur Salsa club when I return. Guess this time it will be you who is waiting for all of us to return.

And there was that time we were at Orchard, drinking iced milo and roti prata at some back alley. It was a good chat about guys, gals, future dreams, plans, blah blah. One of the many mundane chats that we have.

I could also remember how you left God. I simply didn't understand why. I prayed for you, I talked to you, and I think lots of others did that too. We tried to lure you back to tuan qi, to church, wadever......And our hopes were reignited in Christmas 2006, during a gathering at your place. You shared that u felt you had strayed, and you wanted to come back. Zhixin prayed for you. Our hearts were melted. There was not a single dry eye as we sat around and listened to Zhixin. You were sobbing the loudest. And that was the first time, and the last time, I saw u cry. I truly hope you had repented that time.

And our last meeting -- Under a lampost at the Woodlands MRT Station. We were guzzling the $1 coconut from pasar malam. It was another mundane chat. One of those happy moments.

It is a shock you know. You went too fast, without telling any of us. But this is just like you -- you have always come and go as you please. Perhaps dad want it this way too....you wonder around too much He had to do this to keep you close to Him. It must have hurt Him too, just as how it hurt us.

And now, yea, your favourite song, “耶稣爱你”。 I dedicate this song to you.

Well, by grace, we're gonna meet up again. Till then, have a great time. I'm just not quite sure if we are gonna have such a great time without you.

******

In memory of Alvin Ho Kah Yun

16 October 1985 -- 18 January 2008

3:17 AM;

Monday, January 07, 2008

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今天到了 Sunnybank 理头发。回到实验室，

想继续做实验时，已经是夕阳西下了。

面对着堆积如山的功课，再加上想起老板

星期一要检查作业，心里更是觉得烦闷，

顿时间喘不过气来。就在自己想放弃这一切时，

这一句话又鼓励了我：

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

是的，我实实在在相信这一句话。。。。。

In Christ alone, I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory, Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

8:53 PM;

Thursday, January 03, 2008

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有时候还真的是够烦。

发现到自己有个自相矛盾，优柔寡断的个性。

小时候与家人上菜馆吃饭，大人都会叫我们

小孩点菜。这样的事情就会发生。。。。

舅母：“你要吃什么？”

我：“随便。”

舅母：“ 这里没买随便。”

我：。。。。。。

到了澳洲念书也快两年了吧，又是轮到

做决定的时候了。自己是否应该刘在此地，

还是回国好呢？我在这里成长了不少，

也经历了人生中的高潮与低谷，经历的

有好有坏，又令人怀念的，也有一些我不

希望发生的事。更令人烦躁的，是自己没太多

的时间好好的思考，好好的请教别的人。

一个是自己怀念已久的窝，一个是充满

未知数的地方。。。。。

两者之间，真的要二选一吗？

11:08 AM;